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8/31/17

From NYT: Can You Get Over an Addiction?

I found this opinion piece while doing some research on what attracts someone to hardcore drugs and sometimes leads the person to addiction. I've found that there's no answer, no umbrella reason or typical story¾drug addicts can be poor ghetto dwellers to affluent mamas' boys to academic overachievers. Maia Szalavitz, the author, is a well-respected journalist who has researched and written extensively about drug addiction and drug-related issues. She's an interesting person and a fabulous writer, who can personally relate to those issues. She has a ton of books published, and last year she published Unbroken Brain, which gives a new spin on the basis of drug addiction. This piece gives some details about her new concept. I encourage you to look her up¾you'll see myriad articles about Maia and her work. 

Link to article
I SHOT heroin and cocaine while attending Columbia in the 1980s, sometimes injecting many times a day and leaving scars that are still visible. I kept using, even after I was suspended from school, after I overdosed and even after I was arrested for dealing, despite knowing that this could reduce my chances of staying out of prison.

My parents were devastated: They couldn’t understand what had happened to their “gifted” child who had always excelled academically. They kept hoping I would just somehow stop, even though every time I tried to quit, I relapsed within months.


8/23/17

I Dare to Hope

Dare I Hope?
by Sophia White

Dare I hope to hope?
Is it safe? Is it right?
Am I hoping for nothing
But a black and empty night?



Today is a very good day for this mom. I’m full of hope. Hope that my daughter is on a path, going a direction, and it’s not off the deep end. If I were a religious person, I’d say, “Dear Lord, please let me enjoy this moment! Amen.”

I’m thrilled to report that my formerly troubled daughter is now in a very good place: she just texted to tell me she’s getting promoted based on her hard work and participation in process revisions. I also work in the corporate world, so I understand how important that is. She’s doing important work in her world and I’m exceedingly proud of her. Even though she’s already aware of how hard she works and the opportunities she takes to show what she can do, I think it surprises her with how much the company respects and needs her.


8/22/17

The Tattoos (with a Few Piercings on the Side)



So my blog/journal is called Booboos to Tattoos, so I thought I’d cover the tattoo aspect of my daughter’s life. There’ve been a number of booboos, but that’s for a later time.

She has always been fascinated with the tattoo and piercing subculture—and has always been very artistic with a mind to match. When she was in middle school, she bought herself tattoo magazines, which inspired her to sketch unusual designs on her notebook. When I was that age, I doodled 3-D boxes and houseplants. She drew bleeding hearts and snarling demons. I thought for sure a teacher would notice and alert the principal!

She snuck her first tattoo at 16—a large, unfinished swirly thing on her left flank, followed by a clunky tongue piercing that hit her teeth when she talked. Dummy me, I didn’t notice for a long time (in my defense, she was an expert-level sneak and liar in those days). I’m sure I eventually wrote about both when I found out.

8/17/17

Great Article from AARP

Now that I have a nearly normal relationship with my daughter, who is now clearly an adult, I can identify with the customary growing pains. Here's an article I found on AARP (another group of people I identify with) about how to communicate and get along with my adult children (bio and step). I'm pleased to report that my husband and I have been intuitively following these guidelines, and that has helped us grow as parents, as a couple, and as human beings. This article nails it!


Parenting Adult Children: Are You a Good Friend to Your Grown-up Kid?
5 tips for relating to your now-adult child


8/14/17

Coming Back to Her Real Self

I wanted to update my saga with my precious daughter. I thank my lucky stars (I don’t believe in God, so let’s get that straight right now) and whatever other energy is out there, that my daughter is alive and very well. She’s had the same full-time job for more than a year, where they love her and have promoted her three times already. She get excellent job reviews and customer reviews, and is learning a lot about what she's interested in. Unfortunately, it’s not what she went to school for. But that’s OK, most of us do something different at some point; I know I trained as a teacher and haven’t been in front of a group of students in 17 years.

Anyway, she’s doing well at work, and she’s also clean. I think she drinks on weekends, but she’s now 23 and is allowed to. While she used drugs for a time, and hard ones at that, and got in trouble, big trouble—she was never an addict. She chose that lifestyle (who the hell knows why), but she apparently has chosen to not be in it anymore. I’m sure she’s tempted—she tends to be depressed or easily stressed, and doesn’t share her feelings easily. But so far she’s stayed out of that type of trouble for several years, and reaches out to me if she’s in a jam. And by “jam,” I mean her car got dinged or she needs gas money. In the past, she’d lie, keep secrets, steal, sell something I gave her, or for all I know (and I have no proof), sell drugs or possibly herself for money.  That was a very different person at a very different time.