My Daughter's Independence Is Costing Me

My independent daughter is trying really hard to take care of herself and handle all the responsibilities of living on her own, paying her bills, tending to her three cats…but she’s asked me many times for “a few bucks.” I had to pay her rent this month because her hours were reduced at work and she simply didn’t have enough. When I asked her how much she needed, it was the entire amount. She’s seeing how expensive life and getting into trouble can be. Most of her paychecks have gone to bills, tickets, fines, and basic living. She has not been able to “enjoy” a single dime. She can’t afford to buy cigarettes, beer, weed, body piercings, or anything else in her dreams!

Every day, there’s a reminder of her struggle to be “good.” I just received a photo radar speeding ticket in the mail with her pretty face looking into the camera. Ironically, she was headed for a restaurant to have dinner with her grandmother. Even doing something right she does something wrong!

Yesterday, there were four overdraft notices on her checking account in the mail. She had her paycheck automatically deposited, yet her expenses exceed her income. She’s not getting that these fees are eating up her money. I feel so terrible for her, but she doesn’t ask for my advice on avoiding these mishaps. I keep explaining that she’s not an orphan and there are people to reach out to, but she feels so guilty about all the trouble she’s caused, that she wants to solve all her own issues. She’s not equipped to do that just yet, but I’m proud of her for having the desire. I SO wish she’d ask for help—her pride is costing me a lot of money.