Life Goes On: Empty Nest and Beyond

The empty nest thing is working out ok, I must say. The highlight is having greatly reduced stress in my everyday life. Sure, I still worry like a madwoman about my girls, but I am learning that no news is good news. If I don’t hear from them for a day or two, they’ve told me I can assume it’s because they’re simply busy going about their lives. Not having their everyday issues in my face is a mad relief for me. I have time to think about other things.

Another highlight is resuming a more active social life—much like I had before I became a mother. My boyfriend of many years also has an empty nest, so we’re getting used to not worrying about whom we have to drive somewhere or wait for or consider, and going out and having fun. Just last week, we picked up and went skiing. It was so easy with two people. We pretty much just got in the car and left town. We’ve spent time with friends, going to community events, and dining out in non-kid restaurants. It’s been wonderful, actually.

The greatest achievement for me has been gaining the confidence to discontinue my antidepressant medication. I was originally prescribed Pristiq to cope with my older daughter leaving home for college 2 ½ years ago. Well, I got through that hump and a number of others, and now most of the stressors are removed from my life. I appreciate how the pills helped me maintain my composure and eliminate depression and anxiety, but I didn’t want to be medicated forever. So, I’ve been off the meds since January 17—for a total now of 20 days. I went off cold turkey, so there were a few rough, vertigo-y days in there, but I feel overall very good. I have dropped some weight and have more energy. I also feel things a little more—antidepressants make you slightly numb. I’m sure there will be times when I feel sad, even depressed, but I’ll try other remedies to get me through.

I’m proud of how far my “troubled” teen has come, and that has taken a load off my mind. Letting her go (in a way, making her go) seems to be the best thing that has ever happened to her, to me, and to our relationship. It’s a more loving one now. I know there will be obstacles and issues in the near and distant future, but I also know we can handle them if we use maturity, respect, and love. I will cross my fingers, my toes, and my eyes in hopes that this tranquility can last.