Sad Update, Part I

Time for an update. Daughter has been in Portland nearly four months, and she’s not doing great--not following through on all the promises to me and to herself. She’s as behind as an adult as she ever was, the difference being I can’t see it first-hand. We had a crisis, though, so I had to swoop in . . . again . . . and for what?

First the lies. Even though she’s 24, she still lies like a 15-year-old about everything. I know from her sister that her inappropriate boyfriend was living with her, at least until this past week. However, any time I asked about if she had a roommate, she said she was all alone.

Then a couple of weeks ago, she texted me and said, “I have a surprise for you. Will you be home tomorrow?” Obviously, she was in town and she was the surprise.

She came over, all right, but for about 45 minutes. She came with her old friend, someone I like, but he would cover up and lie for her in a heartbeat, so I just keep it light. There’s no point asking any questions; I won’t get truth. She told me she was in town just to say hi to friends and was staying with this friend, and work gave her the time off. I was happy to see her and she looked great, but it was weird.

She’s great at storytelling, and I get caught up in believing them. She stayed a few more days, but I didn’t hear from or see her again until she was back in Portland. And, really, the only reason I was in touch was because I got a notice that her rent for this month was unpaid, and had incurred charges of about $300. I’m the guarantor (I know, stupid), so I was notified via mail and the letter arrived well past the demand date. I called her on the phone, and she told me that she had it covered, and even said, “Hey, I’m here at Walmart getting a money order.” She wasn’t feeling well, so I told her to get some medicine while she was there and use my debit card to pay for it. I told her to text me when she had dropped off the money order.

The next day she texted me that it was done, so I was relieved. But I don’t trust her, so I called the apartment office. My luck, the person who I needed to speak to wasn’t in the office, so the agent told me she’s leave a message and I’d get a call back the next day. I waited all day, and nothing. So I called the next day, and was told that they hadn’t received the rent and she had until 3 p.m. local time to make the payment, or else they would be contacting their attorney. They wouldn’t let me pay online or in any way, and I flipped my shit.

I was very upset, and long story short, it became an issue between my husband and me because I never told him I guaranteed the apartment. And I felt ashamed that I kept it from him and that I have a daughter who lies about who she’s living with, lies about paying her rent, and then spends all her money on a plane ticket to her hometown and gives me 45 minutes of her time.