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12/29/10

Empty Nester? That's Me.

A few words about “empty nest syndrome.” Both my girls have now moved out and it’s definitely bittersweet. According to the myriad of articles on the Internet like these: http://www.life123.com/relationships/marriage/empty-nest/index.shtml, this is the time of my life when I’m supposed to get in touch with my special interests, hobbies, and totally begin a new chapter. But when you’ve been a single parent for nearly 20 years, this just isn’t going to happen overnight. My younger daughter moved out 17 days ago, and so far I’ve adjusted to how clean and good-smelling a home could be. I should’ve moved a little more slowly, however, because I have this clean environment and all I can think is, “So what?” I turned my older daughter’s room into a workout room and actually use it for that purpose, but again, “So what?” I’m still by myself!

Nothing really prepares you for how excruciatingly lonely it is when there are no teenagers around, eating all the food, leaving their shoes in your way, talking back to you, and snuggling up in front of the television while you watch The Wizard of Oz. I’ve been talking to myself so much, that I’ve started to talk ABOUT talking to myself! It’s very strange, I know.

What’s especially strange is that I dreamed about this day—looked forward to a time when there was no one arguing with me about cleaning a room, no one defying my rules and curfews, no kids’ behavior to worry about…now that day is here, and I look at all that other stuff fondly! Crazy!

I bet it’s like grief, this empty nest syndrome, with actual stages that I have to go through before I come out the other side. I’ll work on it.

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