My daughter wants to get a tattoo and piercing and I don't want them to. Any advice?
Kids, Tattoos and Piercings
My daughters want to get tattoos and piercings and I don't know what I should tell them. Any advice?
Everybody has different things that are acceptable for their family. If our daughters want their ears pierced, that is acceptable. However, tattoos are unacceptable until they are adults.
Your daughter needs to know what is acceptable in your family. This boundary establishes a threshold that once crossed has consequences. For our family, if they want to act like adults, then they must assume the responsibility of an adult. When I was a kid, my father told us, that if we chose to get a tattoo, that was letting him know that we were ready to be financially independent. I still don't have any tattoos;)
How old do you have to be to get a tattoo in California?
I thought I better look this up to see if there are any laws against getting tattooed or pierced. In California, it is against the law to get a tattoo if you are under the age of 18. The tattoo shop can be prosecuted for molestation of a minor if they tattoo a minor. However, a minor can be pierced with the consent of a parent or legal guardian. So, I think it's our job as parents to uphold the law and to not circumvent it for a child that wants a tattoo under the age of 18.
With kids, it's important to use our leverage over them with responsibility. And, as parents, we must be positive that we are prepared to follow through on the consequences we outline. Otherwise, children have the ability to step over boundaries like Superman bounds buildings. If a child over the age of 18 wants a tattoo, they are free to go to a parlor in California, present their ID and pick the design of their choice.
However, we as parents don't have to support this behavior. I'm not saying to stop loving your child if they do things like getting a tattoo, but I do believe in consequences.
Here are a few ideas for consequences until the tattoo or piercing is remedied.
I think it's important to help our kids when they do make mistakes. In this case, I wouldn't pay to have a tattoo removed, but I might give them jobs around the house to earn the money. I wouldn't make the appointment to get the tattoo removed, but I'd go with them if they needed support. The important thing is to know that boundaries will be crossed. And not to be too upset or dissappointed, but to inforce the consequence and then to provide the opportunity for them to correct the action.
Everybody has different things that are acceptable for their family. If our daughters want their ears pierced, that is acceptable. However, tattoos are unacceptable until they are adults.
Your daughter needs to know what is acceptable in your family. This boundary establishes a threshold that once crossed has consequences. For our family, if they want to act like adults, then they must assume the responsibility of an adult. When I was a kid, my father told us, that if we chose to get a tattoo, that was letting him know that we were ready to be financially independent. I still don't have any tattoos;)
How old do you have to be to get a tattoo in California?
I thought I better look this up to see if there are any laws against getting tattooed or pierced. In California, it is against the law to get a tattoo if you are under the age of 18. The tattoo shop can be prosecuted for molestation of a minor if they tattoo a minor. However, a minor can be pierced with the consent of a parent or legal guardian. So, I think it's our job as parents to uphold the law and to not circumvent it for a child that wants a tattoo under the age of 18.
With kids, it's important to use our leverage over them with responsibility. And, as parents, we must be positive that we are prepared to follow through on the consequences we outline. Otherwise, children have the ability to step over boundaries like Superman bounds buildings. If a child over the age of 18 wants a tattoo, they are free to go to a parlor in California, present their ID and pick the design of their choice.
However, we as parents don't have to support this behavior. I'm not saying to stop loving your child if they do things like getting a tattoo, but I do believe in consequences.
Here are a few ideas for consequences until the tattoo or piercing is remedied.
- No financial support for college.
- Pull other financial support for cell phone, car or anything else you may be picking up the tab.
- Can't live at home or access to things in the home.
I think it's important to help our kids when they do make mistakes. In this case, I wouldn't pay to have a tattoo removed, but I might give them jobs around the house to earn the money. I wouldn't make the appointment to get the tattoo removed, but I'd go with them if they needed support. The important thing is to know that boundaries will be crossed. And not to be too upset or dissappointed, but to inforce the consequence and then to provide the opportunity for them to correct the action.
No comments:
Post a Comment