I Am Two Mothers—Part 2 of 3

The mother with the troubled daughter is suspicious of anyone her daughter calls “friend.” Their experience has been almost entirely negative—the daughter plus any one of those friends equals raves, drugs, sexual activity, various illegal activity, curfew violations, smoking, drinking, and general badness. The friendships have not lasted, usually because someone has caused another to get into trouble, and the drama and hard feelings cause the flimsy bonds to disintegrate. The friendships are based on nothing solid—no emotional ties, no history, no common values. Her daughter has virtually no real friends because she can’t maintain the relationships beyond a brief amount of time.

The other mother tries very hard to ignore what is right before her eyes when she meets or hears about the new friends her daughter makes. If they’re from work—well, they have a job and ambition. If she met them through a friend—well, she has a nice social life and is meeting new and interesting people. If they’re older by three or four years—well, she’s always related to older kids; that’s why she graduated high school early. She didn’t relate to the average person at school.

The mother with the troubled daughter couldn’t stand the bad grades, the calls from teachers, the refusal to join anything at school, the failure to complete any program that was made especially for her from the guidance counselor. This mother couldn’t handle watching her daughter become depressed, isolated, and refuse help. This mother let her daughter get her GED at 16 so that they could all escape the torture in hopes that the daughter would be so grateful, that she’d fulfill her promise to get a job, save money, and generally be happier. Her daughter has a job, but is always at risk of losing it because of her behaviors outside work. She’s even been called into the HR department because she was suspected of being high on marijuana.

The other mother tells everyone that her daughter is gifted and school was moving too slowly for her. She was anxious to graduate, so she took online classes and graduated two years early. Her daughter does indeed have a great job and, of course, happily pays for her own car and insurance.

Quotes on Parenting Teens

The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time.  They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.  Quentin Crisp

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.  ~Laurence J. Peter

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.  Al Bernstein

When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio.  If all the stations are rock and roll, there's a good chance the transmission is shot.  Larry Lujack

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.  Erma Bombeck

Adolescence is perhaps nature's way of preparing parents to welcome the empty nest.  Karen Savage and Patricia Adams, The Good Stepmother

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals.  Unknown high school principal

Mother Nature is providential.  She gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers.  William Galvin

The best substitute for experience is being sixteen.  Raymond Duncan

Adolescence is a period of rapid changes.  Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years.  Author Unknown

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  Mark Twain, "Old Times on the Mississippi" Atlantic Monthly, 1874

Teenagers complain there's nothing to do, then stay out all night doing it.  Bob Phillips

The average income of the modern teenager is about 2 a.m.  Author Unknown

Telling a teenager the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath.  Arnold H. Glasow

It's difficult to decide whether growing pains are something teenagers have - or are.  Author Unknown

There is nothing wrong with today's teenager that twenty years won't cure.  Author Unknown

I tell my child, if I seem obsessed to always know where you've been, it is because my DNA will be found at the scene.  Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

A boy becomes an adult three years before his parents think he does, and about two years after he thinks he does.  Lewis B. Hershey, News summaries, 31 December 1951

You can tell a child is growing up when he stops asking where he came from and starts refusing to tell where he is going.  Author Unknown

At fourteen you don't need sickness or death for tragedy.  Jessamyn West